Tuesday 17 April 2012

#6 Reflection on Learning

I've always had a gift for presenting. To show for my intense involvement and preparation in any group project, when it comes to the presentation segment, I have the magical ability to appear like a free-rider, thanks to my nerves. As a result, presenting has always been an intense fear of mine. In fact, one of my main reasons for taking ES2007S was to conquer this very fear.

When I first joined ES2007S, I had already resigned myself to ascribing good presentation skills to naturally effervescent personalities. As enthusiasm was never a strong point for me, I felt disadvantaged and was hoping ES2007S would equip me with skills to at least scrape by in presentations decently. Over the weeks, I realized that enthusiasm doesn't have to be as contrived as I had thought and that all I needed was a change in mentality. Prior to ES2007S, I went into presentations thinking "This is a compulsory school project.". By focusing on the fact that neither my participation in the project nor the audience's participation in its presentation was voluntary, I was trying to keep my enthusiasm level in check but in doing so, I was harming my own presentation. The result was low confidence and its jittery symptoms.

Observing my classmates' performances in their respective peer teaching sessions brought my attention to important details that made a good presenter but I was still struggling with my ability to pull it off naturally. I first realized a shift in my mindset when it came to my peer teaching session which was on job interviews. It was probably the first time that I had felt that what I was presenting transcended more than just a class assignment. This was vital information that was clearly relevant to my classmates and possibly even one of the reasons they had joined ES2007S in the first place. I felt responsible for conveying this information to them and that sense of purpose empowered me. Yes, I had paced my presentation poorly and had missed out a whole chunk of what I wanted to say but I was surprised by how comfortable I had felt while presenting enthusiastically and consequentially, how well I had been able to subdue my nervous behaviour. The feedback from the class was constructive and I started to dispel my fear of presenting.

The real challenge was the final oral presentation on my group project- directNUS. Since it was back to presenting a group project, instead of information that was actually essential to my classmates, I wasn't sure if I would be able to garner the same, largely positive feedback I had received in the peer teaching session. I believed in our group's idea but I grappled with the fact that its appeal is subjective. I didn't know if I could be enthusiastic without feeling awkwardly presumptuous. I studied my classmates' performances in their final OPs and this allowed me to slowly realize that this OP was really a culmination of the entire project. Regardless of whether or not our idea would receive strong support, I was proud of the amount of work that I had invested into the project. Once I had established this as a justifiable source of motivation, I began to feel confident about presenting naturally again. Sure enough, save for a a few glitches, I managed to portray my group's idea in an enticing and more importantly, natural, manner. I was especially relieved that I was able to pace my presentation and deliver it exactly as I had intended, which was an anomaly for me.

I know that I am not a great presenter yet and that there is definitely a lot of room for improvement  for me. But I know that I am much closer to the presenter that I aspire to be, thanks to ES2007S. I'm aware that this post has exceeded the word limit but I would just like to end with a short 'thank you' to the class, including our dear Brad. I can safely say that bulk of the module was learnt through examining my fellow classmates. Both the analogous and incongruous aspects of our approaches to all the different components have been sources of reaffirmation and inspiration for me. It's been fun and I look forward to a class gathering with cheap food in the near future! Good luck for your finals, everybody! And for the lucky souls to whom the previous sentence does not apply, congratulations on your graduation! :)

6 comments:

  1. Thanks, Ariele, for this very intelligent reflection on your presentation development in ES2007S. You don't present the most concise summary of your ideas here, but the logic is very persuasive, and insightful. The key insight seems to be psychological: that when you are describing work done (i.e., project) or information that is needed by your audience (job interview stuff), rather than "presenting," you relax more, and give a better "talk." That has been a "eureka" sort of discovery for you, as you well explain, and it helped you tackle the final OP, for which you did very well.

    Excellent effort here, Ariele, just when I was about to pull out the last hair on my head wondering where your last post was. I really appreciate you coming through with this. All term your posts have been excellent. Thank you for making my late night reading easy, yet again, and for all your effort this term!

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    1. Hello Brad! I'm so sorry I almost cost you your last hair! To be honest, I was under the impression that any time this week would be fine since the form submission was only on Friday. My apologies for being so blur!

      Yeah, the post went on a little longer than I would have liked but in a way it kind of symbolizes ES2007S for me. It was such a jam-packed module that it's hard for me to contain my reflection in a short word limit.

      Yes, I feel that the change was mostly psychological for me. With that, I could hit that middle ground of being impressive (in terms of having a good resume, or performing well at a presentation or job interview), yet remaining natural. This will not only allow me to appear more sincere, but the fact that I can be true to myself, keeps me comfortable and boosts my confidence.

      And of course this applies to fostering personal relations with people outside of the workplace context as well. All in all, it's just been such an informative and incredibly useful module. Thank you for all your support and feedback, Brad!

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  2. Hi Ariele!

    This is a lovely post! I like the fact that you've given the reader a glimpse of your fear of public speaking through your lens. I've always thought of you as a rather shy, reserved person. But it looks like the last 13 weeks have made you come out of your shell! Haha.

    I still remember the very first class we had. Brad asked us to raise our hands if we felt uncomfortable speaking in front of a crowd, and I remember you raising your hand. When Brad asked you why, you said that public speaking wasn't your cup of tea! Hahahha omg I sound stalker-ish. But that's one of the things I remember you saying!

    I think you've become a very good speaker! Though your voice did waver ever-so-slightly during the OP, I think you did a fantastic job overall!

    All the best for your upcoming exams and your future endeavors! :)

    Tanisha

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    1. Hello Tanisha!

      Haha. Yeah, I remember that now that you mentioned it. Well I don't think I've been very good yet but yeah definitely will work on it. Thanks for the luck and congrats on your graduation! All the best!

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  3. Hi Ariele,


    You gave a fantastic stream-of-consciousness post, nothing like I've seen from any of your classmates, and Brad would be especially proud I suppose.

    Your first paragraph was world class stream of consciousness and showcased your talent in this area but too bad it came too little too late in what is the final post of the season.


    In any case when Brad said you did reflected well in all your blog posts so far, I couldn't agree more, especially this final one. In the sense perhaps more so in terms of your style of bringing your ideas across aka the stream of consciousness I just mentioned, something I'm obsessed with when I read every kind of writing. Specifically you used psychology to reenact your recollections in a different light, like a third party observer of yourself in a very manifest way. Your classmates also give third party observer reviews in their final posts, but not as psychologically great as yours. You have a very powerful stream of consciousness, dear Ariele. You would probably compliment William Burrough very well and have Naked Lunch with him! Would you like that? I hope he's still alive...


    Whatever got you going whenever you spoke in front of the class, you ultimately made sure you knew that you aren't the complete product in presentation yet. Such third party humility is a big relief from first party mob pride, and if you can keep getting yourself into the third party, dear Ariele, you will be groom yourself into one heck of an Ariele and enjoy the richness of life!

    But be careful to think you are much closer to the presenter you want to be, because I think you just got further by simply thinking that way! Does that make sense? If you are saying that for the sake of making Brad feel like he had been used well all throughout the season, I totally understand because I'd say the same as well. But if I were to be very honest with myself and not interested with grades or what other people might think about my madness, I'd say that the end of the learning caused me to become further from the presenter I hope to be!

    Cheers and best of luck later!

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    1. Why hello, Mark. Alas you have graced my blog with your presence (again?).

      As I read through your comment, I was expecting the "But" word to be pulled out but I'm glad you had only positive things to say. I have to say though, that I don't think my post is as lofty as you make it sound! And surely not worthy of being elevated to the writing prowess of Burroughs, speaking of which, I'd hate to break it to you but Wikipedia says he's passed since '97. Nothing against necromancy, but I don't think I'd like to have Naked Lunch with anyone- living or dead. Thanks for the literature recommendation though.

      Well, I think you make complete sense. The mere belief that you have improved, even if based on self-delusion, is powerful enough to become self-fulfilling. This is especially so in elements like oral presentations in which diffidence can be your stumbling block.

      Rest assured, I'm not trying to please anyone by saying that I learnt something. If that was my objective, I sure could do it without being as verbose. No, the learning experience was very genuine for me.

      I know for a fact that I have improved as a presenter. Self-delusion or not, I feel like I'm actually a contender, not just a participant in this rat race, circa primary school. That placebo effect is important because like you've said, believing that I stand a chance, makes it so. So yeah, no people-pleasing here. I'm sorry that you didn't have the same sentiments towards the course.

      To say that you didn't budge in terms of your progress as a presenter would be understandably possible if you're an uncooperative student but I don't see how you can become further from the presenter you aspire to be because of this course! A teacher can only do so much. If you come out of a communications class feeling that way, I think it's safe to say you're doing it wrong.

      Well, all the best for you too, Mark. I appreciate your feedback!

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